A Huge Lie
In
our society the term housewife, now referred to as stay-at-home mother, has
come to be a derogatory term. The term seems to suggest to many people a woman
who sits home all day and does nothing. There was even a series on TV called “Desperate
Housewives”—presumably the idea is that if you are a housewife you must be
desperate—or perhaps just lazy. The latest series is “Real Housewives of ….” If
those women ever cleaned anything in their lives, except their faces, I would
be surprised.
My
generation, the baby boomers, has filled our girls heads with the idea that
they can have everything: a career, a marriage and a family. (They should also
have added, a nervous breakdown.) The truth is that you can’t have everything.
Something has to give. Often it is the marriage and the housework or women
simply forget to “have children.” Others remember, but remember too late. Speak
to anyone who has their first baby after thirty-three or thirty-four and they
will tell you that it is very hard. Many discover too late that they can’t have
children.
As
homeschooling Mums we have generally given up a job to be a housewife—although
not one that does nothing but watch TV all day. Many of us do without the
things that society considers essential such as take-aways three times a week
and overseas holidays. We have our children around us and the opportunity to
train our children to value the woman who “rocks the cradle.”
Years
ago Frank and I decided that we couldn’t afford for me to work outside the home.
It would cost too much, and we would sacrifice a lot of the quality of our life.
I rarely regretted that decision, except on the days when I was tired and the
children were all arguing. Now I realize how wise a decision that was. I may
not have a lot of wealth but I am rich. I have a well educated, loving family
and nine beautiful, funny grandchildren who I have time to enjoy.
Previous
generations have known that the “woman who rocks the cradle, rules the world.”
That is, the woman who spends large amounts of time with her children has a
profound influence on them. All my children adore children and are great
parents, uncles and aunties largely because they have spent so much time around
children. They value family and, although they work hard, don’t place money and
things above people. More importantly they like being together and this has
been fantastic for the grandchildren.
So
ignore society. Even though you may not be valued by them value yourself. The
job you do can not be replaced or over valued. Children learn better from their
mothers since they get one to one attention. Quality time is a term used as an
excuse by people who don’t spend time with their children. Quantity time is
necessary and that is what we give them. Besides, if you ask a child about what
they remember most, it is probably not what you, as an adult, would consider to
be quality time.